You still ask me as to why I write about the two images you sent me of that ugly girl with a "I think I love her." message that followed. I didn't  know how to answer when you first asked me that.   I didn't know why I still write about a girl who doesn't make any difference. But now, I do. I really do. You loving me, getting over me, and FALLING FOR SOMEBODY NEW, it's still not believable. I used to think I was different. Because you told me everything about you. How you and your dad used to fight. How you used to lie to your mother about your girlfriends. How you used to wake your brother in the middle of the night just to trouble him. I really thought I was different. I thought you changed because of me. We could last forever is what I used to think everyday. But who wants an ever and after if it isn't forever at all? You made me feel special, and I felt it. But I guess, you used to make each and every girl you liked feel special. It's just sad to be one of them, you know. My EGO is hurt. And it's hurt bad. The fact that you came back to the city just to surprise her eats me completely with jealousy, because you never even came to meet me even when I lived three stations away. The fact that you gave "I really want you to touch my lips with yours" look to each other makes me want to remove those fucking eyeballs of yours, because once, they used to give me the same look. I want to bathe myself in her bottle of perfume if it gets you to hug me. I want to kiss her lips, because I know, I so bloody know that I would be able to taste you still. I want to hold her hand, because I'll feel the vibes she felt when you almost raped her hand by holding it tight. I wanna have her ears, because I would be able to hear you whisper naughty things into them. Still. And I know, I fucking know that you broke up seven months ago, and I know you're over her, but I am not. Because she had the freaking power to replace me. She had the power to break the house I built inisde your house. I couldn't even second her. It makes me turn greener than an evergreen tree. I know you don't love her anymore, but I still feel the jealousy. And maybe, getting over you was easy. But I'm still learning to get over her.

TWO PIECES

Is it just me or even you feel that there's something special between us still? Or is it just me thinking of myself to be different and special? I don't really know. Because you stopped talking to all your ex girlfriends but me. Everytime you run into any of your ex girlfriends, it's awkward. But when that happens to us, you cannot stop talking. Everytime you call your ex, just to be kind, you run out of topics. But with me, you run out of time. Then how am I supposed to think that what we have is not special? Or I am not special? Maybe, if you came later in my life, we would've been two pieces of a broken heart. But right now, we're just two lonely children trying to find home.

Hey! I'll try and act normal, even when I am not. Because I just created a new blog! I know it's not a big deal, as anybody can make one nowadays. But this means music to me.
I decided not to be formal with you guys, because why not.

Here's a bit about myself. I am Rujal G, a sixteen years young girl from the world of words, who's trying to find her home. Hence, I espoused to write. Something about the title. It's lucid, I know. But, I feel that I write because it makes me happy, and because my family and friends always support and encourage me to write. Besides, many people can connect to my words. Every time I give my diary to someone, I see the smile on their faces. Call me selfish, but it makes me feel good because I know that somewhere in between two lines, they could connect themselves. That's what I want to do. Make people smile. Make them realise that "this world is not a wish granting factory". It's more like living to complete a wish. More like a journey. A journey everyone should continue till the end instead of giving up.

Why I chose this date? I believe that dates are important. I wanted to make this blog on the 25th of December, but it's 239 days away, and I didn't want to wait for that long. I wanted to make it on my birthday, but too many awesome things in a day. Bleh.
Well. It's my mom's birthday. She's special to me. And so is this blog. A=B and B=C therefore A=C
I'm bad at cracking jokes or making references, I know.


Sooooo, I hope you enjoy this little diary of mine. :*

And let's just hope that I won't regret about this post years later when I read it to my husband.